• You cast out your fishing line while white-water rafting.


  • You’ve never seen the tourist attractions in your own city.


  • All summer you thought a redneck named “Bubby” was gonna be your quarterback.


  • A pass does not involve a football or a woman.


  • You are 82 years old and take up snowboarding.


  • Your SUV tire size exceeds your IQ.


  • Your real Y2K fear is running out of Celestial Seasonings tea and trail mix.


  • The entire top of your head is bald, but you still have a pony tail.


  • You personally wouldn’t pay $10 per head to drive up Pikes Peak unless it was the only mountain on earth … but you tell all your house-guests to do it.


  • You get depressed after one day of foggy weather.


  • You wear the latest fashions a year after they went out of style.


  • You think that formal wear is ironed denim.


  • North means “mountains to the left;” south is “mountains to the right;” and east and west are where all those damn liberals keep moving in from.


  • You go anywhere else on the planet and the air feels “sticky.”


  • You consider a three-piece suit to be a pair of shorts, a sweatshirt and Birkenstocks.


  • You see your East Coast relatives now more than when you lived there.


  • Your bridal registry is at REI.


  • You can run up 10 flights of stairs without huffing and puffing.

You Might Be From Colorado If...

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  • You carry your $3,000 mountain bike on top of your $500 car.


  • You thought “Californication” would be banned by Amendment 2.


  • You’re actually proud of “South Park.”


  • You have a business degree and are frying burgers at McDonald’s.


  • You have a fat tire in your refrigerator and your garage.


  • You tell your husband to pick up Granola on his way home from work and he stops at the day care.


  • You own a big dog named Aspen, Buck or Cheyenne that wears a bandanna.