Reflections on Bible Study

We're finishing up our current 12-part study on Evangelism in my Women's bible study. I wasn't too fond of the study, but I did get something out of it, so I guess it wasn't a total waste of time. I am now more aware of evangelistic opportunities and more open to hearing God tell me who/when to witness.

We've now been a group for about 5 months. Pastor A. has heard of other women being interested in joining our study, so we're kind of starting fresh with our next study. In thinking about doing the next study, a husband of one of the women in the group suggested we do what's called a "Lectio Devina," translated "Holy Reading." This is a traditional type reading/prayer time that's been around for about 1500 years. The protestant church kind of dismissed it and the Catholic church held on to it; so it's well-known in some circles, and notso well known in others. Peter learned it in school (I think) and is very fond of it and has done it at retreats and gatherings of sorts. He offered to lead us in the Lectio today, to give us an idea of how it works and to see if we want to incorporate it into our future studies.

I'll kind of summarize how it works (based on the adaptation of Susan S. Phillips from the San Francisco Theological Seminary), then journal on what I got out of it tonight.


It begins with silence. Prepare for the Holy Spirit to move and for God to speak to you. Then Lectio; a short passage (usually scripture, but this can also be some other Christian reading or poem or Hymn or song lyric) is read. Listen to the passage and allow yourself to be drawn to a word or phrase the grabs, strikes, or stirs. (Summarized by: What word or phrase most affects me?) This is followed by Meditatio. The passage is read a second time. Listen and open yourself to receive what God is addressing to you, receive more feelings, thoughts, images, etc. (Summarized by: What word or phrase names the feeling, thought, images, sensation or desire that stirs me?) Third is Oratio. The passage is read a third time. Now you respond to God. Express the thoughts, desires, feelings that God stirred. (Summarized by: I communicate in silence with God.) Fourth is Contemplatio. The passage is read for a fourth and final time and you rest in what God stirred in you. (Summarized by I silently rest with God.) It is finished with Afterwards; an expression of what God moved or stirred in you. (What would I like to express and incarnate from this experience?)

It is very important that during this "Lectio" you are comfortable. Sit anyhwere you need to to be comfortable and able to focus on God and His word and not on your surroundings or the noises of the world. Being our first time doing this, we were hesitant to fully grasp the concept of the experience. It is common to have people verbalize a word or phrase that stood out to them. Or if you need to journal during the time, that is OK too. Or just sit in silence. We chose to sit in silence, jotting down thoughts/feelings/phrases when needed to.

The whole thing took about 10 minutes. By the end, I was really surprised; suprised that I wasn't bored (I've done long prayer type things before and not been thrilled); surprised that I was able to get so much out of 4 verses; surprised at the depth I was able to go. I really liked it; I think the other ladies did too and I think we'll incorporate this into our upcoming study.

Our Lectio today was from John 21:4-8.

But when the day was now breaking, Jesus stood on the beach; yet the disciples did not know that it was Jesus. So Jesus said to them, "Children, you do not have any fish, do you?" They answered Him, "No." And He said to them, "Cast the net on the right-hand of the side of the boat and you will find a catch." So they cast, and then they wer not able to haul it in because of the great number of fish. Therefore that disciple whom Jesus loved said to Peter, "It is the Lord." So when Simon Peter heard that it was the Lord, he put his outer garment on (for he was stripped for work), and threw himself into the sea. But the other disciples came in the little boat, for they were not far from the land, but about one hundred yards away, dragging the net full of fish.

Lectio: All I could focus on was the word "Children." It stood out. I heard nothing else.

Meditatio: I heard Children again, but I also focused on "For when Simon Peter heard that it was the Lord ... [he] threw himself into the sea."

Oratio: Is God calling me a child? Is He telling me to be a Child? Do I need more child-like faith? Am I acting childish and immature? All of the above? None of the above? I don't know. This is something that I decided I need to pray about. Peter was so excited to see Jesus that he couldn't wait for the boat; he just jumped into the water and ran from his past.

Contemplatio: I should want to run from my flesh and my sins and run to Jesus as excitedly as Peter. Drop everything to reach Jesus again.

It was a neat experience. And all four of us got something different from the Lectio. 4 verses, read 4 times, and 4 different feelings were stirred.

After we finished the Lectio, we did the final lesson (Facing Opposition) in the Evangelism book. The passage was neat (Acts 4:1-31), but again, I wasn't thrilled with the lesson's questions and applications. The one thing that I really liked in the lesson was the emphasis on praying for boldness in evangelism. Even when not facing opposition, being bold in our witness is important. This is my prayer, that I would be a bold witness for Jesus Christ!!!

Reflections on Today's Sermon

Our current sermon series is on Making Decisions in an Age of Choice.

Today's sermon came from 1 Kings 21:1-19, King Ahab was very jealous of Naboth's vineyard, and Jezebel was plotting to get it for him, but it required a very unethical act, setting up Naboth to be stoned.

Pastor A had 2 main points.

1. Don't get caught up wanting what others have.
Wanting what others have sets us up for comparison, envy, jealousy, coveting, and then doing what's NOT right to get what we want. Comparing ourselves to others can be healthy for setting standards, but not for general life practice.

So Pastor A. had a question to ask ourselves. "Who are the Naboth's in my life?" In other words, "To whom do I compare myself?" Boy I could have a list a mile long if I thought long and hard about it.

One reason my sister and I didn't get along growing up was because I always competed with her (without her knowledge or approval) and tried to be better than her. I was constantly "one-upping" her. She took it as an attitude of conceit and was often very insulted that I felt like I was so much better than her. In my mind, I was trying so hard to be like her and proving that I was like her. I find myself doing this today ... competing with people without their knowledge; and it always turns out bad for me. I've lost friends over it.

In my job I find myself comparing my job performance (quantity and quality of work performed) to those who I believe to be better than me and those I believe to be not as good as me. Then I justify my actions based on what T or R did. In reality, I shouldn't ever have to justify my actions; they should just be. And I should never compare how I do my job to how T does her job because it's not my place to decide how well or hard she works. I should just be the best tech I know how to be and not worry about how good everyone else does.

When we find ourselves comparing to others', we find ourselves trying to bet just like them, only better. God made each one of us unique and special, so we shouldn't try to be just like everyone. Pastor A. said, "Be the most Christ-like YOU, you can be." I don't need to be just like Roberta or be better than T. or be as smart as M, I just need to be ME and do my job to the best of MY ability.

2. Don't run away from good (Godly) counsel!
Ahab had a good counsel in Elijah, but Ahab didn't want to listen to him for whatever reason. Pride, fear, self-suffiency, and/or selfishness are many things that may keep a person from wanting to heed Godly counsel. He instead chose to listen to Jezebel, who had a different perspective and agenda. This put Ahab in a very tight spot in the end.

When we face decisions we need to make, we need to seek good counsel. A good counsel will be a person who loves God, and also loves you. This person will listen well, make sacrifices for you, offer good advice, and be honest. This is something that all people need; old or young.

I left church feeling empowered to make the right decisions. I feel like I know what I need to do, but still not totally sure of how to do it. I've tried several times in the last few months to do what I know I need to do, and have yet to be successful. I guess that's another choice I need to make ... how to do what I need to do.

Pastor A. encouraged us all to pray about one person who could act as Godly counsel in our lives, and then to ask that person to be our Godly counsel. I attend a woman's bible study and I'm going to pray about asking one of them to be that counsel for me.

Reflections on VBS

I have many things to journal on today I'm not quite sure where to start. I've been really struggling in one area (you may be able to see that by the topic of many of my entries) and God really spoke to me today. I'm still not sure if I can follow through on what I know God needs me to do, but it's certainly getting harder and harder to say "no."

Our church just finished our first ever (and hopefully annual) VBS. I was reluctant to make the drive, but because of my knowledge in the computer/technology area, I was recruited to do all the technology stuff the entire week. Other people were knowledgable in what needed to be done, but I was the only one available at the right times (which is amazing to me since I had the longest drive). At any rate, my "job" at VBS was to run the computer/DVD player/projector for the songs and the video. I now know all the songs very well. I found it very difficult to get them out of my head while I was at work during the day. Our theme this year was The Lord's Prayer, Matthew 6:9-13. All the songs we sang were in some way or another based on the passage.

On song in particular was in my head this week. I'm not sure if it was in my head because the kids loved it and requested it at the end of the night or if it was in my head because God put it ther (or maybe a little of both).


It Is Written
By Rob Evans (The Donut Man)

Verse 1
Jesus knew what He had to do:
Go in the desert without any food.
And when that ol' devil came to tempt Him away,
Jesus knew what to say!
He said,

Chorus
"No! (No!) It is written,"
"No!" (No!) That's what the Bible does say!
"No! (No!) It is written," and He chased that devil away!

Verse 4
So when the devil comes after you,
Jesus shows you what to do.
When that ol' devil comes to tempt you away,
You've know what to say.

Chorus

Eric

Today's Thankful Thoughts are Dedicated to my Husband!!!

1. I'm thankful for his honesty to me
2. I'm thankful for his forgiveness
3. I'm thankful for his love
4. I'm thankful for his patience
5. I'm thankful that he's genuinely happy at school
6. I'm thankful that God's given Eric a position as a ground school instructor (most likely starting in September)
7. I'm thankful that Eric gives in to my spontaneity and my whims
8. I'm thankful that, when I tell him he's the best husband in teh world for me, he replies, "You're the best wife for me!" :)

Boundaries

Boundaries are a good thing.
They keep the good in and the bad out.
But sometimes the bad seems good, or at least it's hard to say no to the bad; and that's when the boundary gets fuzzy or pushed back ... or even crossed completely.

For the third time in the last month, I tried to set (the same) boundaries yesterday. These boundaries are boundaries that should have been set 3 months ago. I haven't yet been strong enough to keep the boundaries.

In reality, these boundaries should be a little closer than I set them, but I'm not willing to do that yet (for multiple reasons). Maybe someday with God's help, guidance, and strength I'll pull them in to where they need to be, but this is a step in the right direction.

Today's Thankful Thoughts

*I'm thankful for friends who care about me and my well-being
*I'm thankful for a job that I enjoy and that I'm good at
*I'm thankful for VBS and the opportunity to participate this week
*I'm thankful for all the children not from the church who are participating in VBS
*I'm thankful for a husband who does dishes, laundry, and makes dinner while I'm at VBS
*I'm thankful for God and his love, grace, mercy, forgiveness
*I'm thankful for this blog and the outlet it's provided me

A Permant Reminder

Matthew 3:16
As soon as Jesus was baptized, he went up out of the water. At that moment heaven was opened, and he saw the Spirit of God descending like a dove and lighting on him.

Luke 3:22
22and the Holy Spirit descended on him in bodily form like a dove. And a voice came from heaven: "You are my Son, whom I love; with you I am well pleased."

John 1:32
32Then John gave this testimony: "I saw the Spirit come down from heaven as a dove and remain on him.

The "Christian Dove" symbol has always been very special to me. I could never fully explain why it was so meaningful though. But recently I was able to put my thoughts/feelings/leanings into words.

The dove is referenced in the bible in many different places. First in Genesis after the flood the dove is the bird that finds the olive branch, proof that the waters are subsiding and new life is growing. Then in Leviticus it is allowed as an alternative to the lamb during sacrificial offerings. And in the new testament the Holy Spirit is compared to the dove.

The dove progresses in the bible. Starts as a messenger of new life and new beginnings; then becomes a sacrifice; and ultimately is a symbol of the Holy Spirit.

All of these are symbolic of fresh starts and pure spirits. When a person receives God's grace, he/she has a new start, a fresh beginning, a new and pure spirit. A new life, a life with God, is created.

The simple representation of the "Christian Dove" is symbolic of the simplicity of receiving the Holy Spirit; you simply ask, and you shall receive.

On Saturday (8/20/05) I got a permanent reminder of God's grace, purity, and my life with God. I got a tattoo of the Christian dove on my ankle. This wasn't a decision I made lightly. It's something I've considered for about 5 years. I've considered the many moral/theological/personal viewpoints of tattoos and eventually came to a place in myself where this is something I wanted and am willing to accept whatever criticism/disappointment people throw at me.

Thought for the Day - by Christopher Morley

"Read, every day, something no one else is reading. Think, every day, something no one else is thinking. Do, every day, something no one else would be silly enough to do. It is bad for the mind to be always part of unanimity."

Advice to 12-year old self

Inspired by reading Wil Wheaton's blog archive (Feb 13, 2003 to be exact), today, at age 25, this is the advice I'd give my 12-year old self.

Dear 12-yearold Christine,

You are about to enter a very confusing time in your life. You will be presented with opportunities and the need to make decisions that could change your life. To make these decisions, remember the following very simple things:

*Love God, spend time with Him every day and live according to His will
*Always put God first, others second.
*Be faithful
*Don't be selfish
*Don't let others' opinions of you change the way you act or think; just be yourself
*You are beautiful and special and nothing will ever change that.

I guarantee that if you do live according to this, nothing will be so hard that you can't handle it. Life won't be easy, but God will be there for you if you ask.

Not just simple small talk ......

I HAVE AWESOME NEWS!!!!!

I had an opportunity to share the gospel today.

Let me start at the beginning.
Today I visited a vet clinic for work to set up some instruments for some testing of our product. I was excited and nervous to go all at the same time. Excited because this was a great opportunity and really good for me professionally. But nervous because I lack all social skills and I was going with a woman who I don't know very well, doesn't speak great english, and I don't think I have much in common with. I'm terrible at small talk and just wasn't sure how awkward today was going to be. I wasn't looking forward to the awkwardness of it.

So I brought up my concerns at my bible study Sunday night. We had just finished our lesson on cross-cultural evangelism. Last week we did sharing the gospel with strangers, and the week before was friendship evangelism. I commented that I didn't know much about her, and that she was Chinese and didn't speak great English. The ladies of my bible study said, "What a great opportunity to practice what we just learned on cross-cultural evangelism." I kind of laughed, although I know they were serious, as they should be. We should always be practicing evangelism.

So as the time got closer and closer for us to leave I got more and more nervous. The words, "What a great opportunity to practice what we just learned on cross-cultural evangelism," kept echoing in my mind. I decided this really was something God wanted me to try. So I prayed for peace and for the words to say. I prayed that she would be open and that I would be able to steer the conversation away from normal "small talk" (which I despise, by the way) and to something of a more spiritual nature.

The last thing we talked about as we approached the clinic was that I went to church. After being there for nearly 4 hours we packed up our bags and went back to the office. She started the conversation again pretty much where we left off. "What kind of church do you go to?" "Are you active?" "What do you do there?" All these questions about my church. This was a WIDE OPEN door. God was telling me to jump in with both feet and just get it out there. So I asked her if she had any beliefs and where she stands on things.

She believes in God. Her husband is Catholic. But that's about it. She wants to start going to church, but her husband is reluctant. She knows the bible, as awhile back a woman used to come over to her house and talk about the bible with her. She uses the bible more as a moral compass than anything, I gathered. I asked her if she believed in heaven and hell and what she believed about what will happen to her when she dies. She didn't have an answer. So she asked what I believed. WOA!!!!! If that's not a big huge black and white sign reading "TELL ME THE GOSPEL" I don't know what is.

So I shared the gospel with her. It wasn't great. It wasn't smooth. I didn't know where to start because I don't know exactly how much of the bible she knows. So I talked about that we're sinners and that sin seperates us from being with God. I talked about Jesus being a man and Jesus living a perfect life and dying on the cross and beign resurrected. I talked about believing that his death on the cross is the only way we can spend eternity with God.

I'm 25. I've been a Christian for 19 years. I've never shared the gospel so blatantly before. I've always shared the gospel with people who already go to church and know what I believe and are just asking me logistical questions. I've never shared the gospel alone without the help of others either. So this was a HUGE step for me.

I had no doubt in my mind that God wanted me to share the gospel. I have no doubt in my mind that today was a carefully orchestrated event by God.

Attitude

It's amazing what a little attitude adjustment will do for a person's worklife.

Learning lesson's through others

Yesterday was a bad day. I was in a good mood when I was on my way to work, but when I walked into the building and heard how noisy it was and how much excess crap was going on, I just was instantly put into a bad mood.

I e-mailed my co-worker/friend and said I was in a bad mood, and I'm sorry. My friend spent the better part of the morning consoling me and telling me to cheer up, don't let the work stuff get to me, it'll get better, just sit there and do my thing, go into my own world and ignore everything. I tried very hard to follow this very good advice, but I just couldn't stop thinking about how annoying my co-workers were being.

Then, mid-morning sometime, I read this. God has this way of telling me what I need to hear when I need to hear it. And to read something so relevant in my friend's blog and to know that she and I are going through the same thing at the same time was so touching. God really is amazing the way he can teach one person something, and then have that one person teach someone else, simply through learning what God was teaching.

We have an amazing God and I am so in awe at what He does. He never ceases to amaze me.

8.1.05

I'm thankful for God's forgiveness and his love.