Fasting

Sunday's sermon was on fasting. The biblical aspecs and origins. The Israelites were called to fast during the Day of Atonement. It was a day to wait on God and fully rely on God's strength. It was a day to trust God to work HIS will. It's an expression of total dependence on God. It's not about manipulating God, but about truly trusting Him.

Pastor A. used teh analogy of a broker vs. a Father. If we treat God as a broker, we go to Him with a list of things we want and are prepared to pay for them. However, if God is our father, we go to Him humbled and on our knees, showing Him our vulnerability and trusting Him.

Andrew listed several biblical examples of fasting

1 Sam 7: fasted for revival
Ezra: fasted before a dangerous journey
Daniel: fasted for health
Esther: fasted for her people and protection against evil
Nehemiah: fasted after hearing about the temple and before rebuilding
Jesus: fasted in preperation for His ministry
Disciples: fasted before choosing a replacement for Judas
Paul: fasted before beginning his ministry
Paul/Barnabas: fasted when commissioning elders

Fasting is kind of like extra credit. It's never truly commanded in the bible, but is demonstrated and highly encouraged.

In response to the sermon, Andrew "called" the congregation to a corporate fast on Tuesday. Fasting for "new life" in our community.

I've fasted before, but only short fasts, 6-8 hours. I wanted to challenge myself and do a total fast for 24 hours. I treated myself to a great dinner and a root beer float Monday night.

The focus of my fast was 2-fold. I fasted corporately for "new life;" praying for revival and a new appreciation of God in our community. I personally focused on my loneliness, depression, anger, bitterness, the direction God is leading me regarding fellowship and bible study, and the direction of my relationships with my co-workers. (That's a lot to pray about in one day.)

I don't want to be angry and bitter at work any longer. Part of my attitude adjustment involved forgiveness. Forgiving myself for my mistake a few weeks ago and allowign myself to move on.

I had a tough time. I kept wanting to eat something and tried to convince myself that I could eat dinner or drink juice and still say I did a partial fast. I wanted to distract myself from the hunger. I realized that the purpose of the fast is to pray when I'm hungry and to rely on God. Fasting without the prayer is a waste of time and just foolish.

I was determined to make it. And I did. Hunger kept me awake most of the night; I had to pray myself to sleep several times.

I don't think any bright light bulbs went off during the time of fasting and prayer. Nothing earth shattering or life changing took place. But at the end of the day I realized that yesterday was the most calm and peaceful day at work in several months. I wasn't bitter or angry. I didn't get upset. I don't even remember complaining.

On my drive home, a drive that usually causes me to yell and scream at the other California drivers, I was calm, patient, and just went with the flow.

This is a feeling I've not had at work in a long time. Total reliance on God for His strength created a peaceful spirit in me.

Now the goal is to remember this and continue to rely on God to get through every day. I already felt a tinge of frustration today over something that was a non-issue yesterday. I need to give it to God and let God deal with it in His way.