Good $ense --- Implimentation, Follow-Through and Commitment

The Good $ense Budget Course we did on Saturday was very good. I don't know if we really learned anything BRAND new, but it was a good reminder and a lot of good practical tips for getting out of debt and STAYING out of debt.

We went into the course thinking we were doing really well and had an extra $300 a month that we just manage to blow somewhere. But it turns out that while I wrote down that we buy groceries, I forgot to add that into our total expenses and so we really overspend by at least $100. sigh

So on Saturday when we were working on doing the budget I got really frustrated. We realized if we cut out ALL of our other expenses and go total bare bones (allowing ourselves 2 dates a month and no other entertainment) we might be able to pay our bills.

We also learned how to track our expenses. There were 3 options available for tracking our spending.

1) The envelope system
I don't like the envelope system. Something about it just turns me off. We opted not to do this one.

2) Written record system
Kind of the opposite of a checkbook register. Instead of starting with the money you have and subtracting what you spend, you start with how much you're allowed to spend and add everything up in each category. You have 2 forms; one for daily variable and one for monthly fixed.

3. Electronic
Programs like Quicken and MS Money. This is advised against for beginners until you get used to tracking money.

We chose option 2. I spent the day today making my own forms. I personalized the form they have in excel for my Spending Plan and our own expenses. I also put our spending plan in excel .... I trust excel to do the math more than I trust myself.

Things are going to be tight for several months. So tight that I might need to get a second job when Eric's student loans are due. Our speaker kept emphasizing on Saturday that more income isn't necessarily the answer. In fact, it rarely is. A little more money doesn't solve the problem. It's a mask. But there are some occassions where you can "bare bones" it and still not have enough money, so additional income would actually help. Without kids at home and the fact that Eric and I only see each other on the weekends, a second job isn't that harmful to our living situation, if I can find one that lets me work Monday, Tuesday, Thursday only. Not sure yet, I'm gonna pray about it a little more.

The last part of the course was to pick a date to impliment the program. We chose March 1. Makes sense, the first day of the month. I'm starting to get in the habit of recording my expenses now (I do have a checkbook register in Excel that I use ... not sure if I'll continue to use it) and paying attention to things.

We also have to find an accountability partner. I'm not sure who would be good for us. We were both thinking Pastor A. since he recommended the course and is praying for us, but he's so busy we don't want to overload him. I'm sure my mom would be willing to ask me every day if I remembered to record my expenses and to ask if I spent any non-budgeted money. But I don't want her to. We're still thinking/praying about it. Maybe a lady in my bible study, or another friend.

The accountability is more for me than for Eric, since Eric lives on cash only right now. So he said I can pick anyone I want. Thanks Eric!!!!

Eric's also the sweetest husband ever! I was telling him how minimal we're going to be living for a few months. He offered to share his allowance with me. After he buys groceries for his "dorm" room he'll split the rest in half with me so I can have cash for my week too. I almost cried. It's my fault we have as much credit card debt that we have and he's offering to share his spending money with me.

James 4:4

We're starting James tomorrow in bible study. The first lesson asked us to read the whole chapter. One of the questions was to pick a memory verse. I picked James 4:4.

You adulteresses, do you not know that friendship with the world is hostility toward God? Therefore whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God.

I can't be friends with the world and want worldly things and still have a relationship with God.

More Reflection on Finances

The seminar I was at this week talked about "mirroring and matching." When in a conversation with someone, someone tends to mirror and match what the other person is doing, be it body language, attitude, voice volume, etc. Well, I was thinking about this, and I think this is also what people do with lifestyle. You adapt. When living in an area where people go shopping all the time and buy starbucks every morning and always have new things, you want to too. So you go to Starbucks once a week, twice a week, before you know it it's every day. Or you find yourself at Target, or the mall once/week getting that new movie you just have to have.

I think this is partly what happened to me and Eric. We started makign a little bit more money, and I started makign friends here at work, and my friends were always talking about what movie they last bought, or the last restaurant they went to or ..... I started to feel left out or like we needed to get something that I can't live without. Then, lots of credit cards later .......... Of course we can justify all we want to. We HAD to go on that vacation, and as long as we were there we needed to buy souveniers and get a rental car and eat at the good restaurants. Or, but the tires went out, so we bought new tires. We might as well get the best. But this was my BONUS money ... I should get to spend it on toys.

But none of that changes the fact that we were spending more than we were making.

Proverbs 3:5-12

Proverbs 3:5-12 (New American Standard Bible)
5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart And do not lean on your own understanding. 6 In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He will make your paths straight. 7 Do not be wise in your own eyes; Fear the LORD and turn away from evil. 8 It will be healing to your body And refreshment to your bones. 9 Honor the LORD from your wealth And from the first of all your produce; 10 So your barns will be filled with plenty And your vats will overflow with new wine. 11 My son, do not reject the discipline of the LORD Or loathe His reproof, 12 For whom the LORD loves He reproves, Even as a father corrects the son in whom he delights.

This was the Lectio passage that we read last night.

I've not really mentioned it, because I'm a little embarrassed about it, but I'm very scared about our finances. I hate dealing with money. I hate balancing my checkbook. I hate looking at my account balance. But, as most people, I love spending it. I love having it. Consequently, Eric and I have a huge financial situation. Add to our normal every day debt and expenses the fact that Eric picked a very expensive career path and those student loans will have massive payments.

I finally decided that this was going to be the year that I figured out how to manage money. I didn't so much as make a resolution, but a decision. I gave my finances to God. Part of giving it to God entailed admitting to people other than myself and my husband that we needed help. I put a prayer request in the offering box at church for our financial situation and our management of our money.

Pastor A. replied to our prayer request not just with prayer, but also with a book suggestion. The timing couldn't have been better since Eric and I were just discussing our money and I was nearly in tears over not having any money. Then last week Pastor A. heard of a financial conference being offered at a neighbor church.

We're signed up to go. But now I'm nervous. I'm nervous about seeing the reality of our financial situation. I'm nervous that we won't be able to manage our money even AFTER going to this conference. I'm nervous that Eric and I won't agree on the various financial priorities that need to be set. I'm just really scared.

Reading this passage last night put all my fears into perspective. I knew I was nervous and afraid, but I didn't realize why. Really listening to God made it all clear. And when you can name the fear/concern/etc it's a lot easier to give it to God.

After the reading, I came to the conclusion that the "evil" in my life right now is the evil of not spending wisely. I need to trust God with our money and really give my finances to God. And I need to acknowledge that God is in charge.

GOD IS IN CHARGE!!!

There's always a moment...

Oh, as if you had no choice? There's a moment, there's always a moment, "I can do this, I can give in to this, or I can resist it." And I don't know when your moment was, but I bet you there was one. I'm gone.

This is a quote from a movie called "Closer" (horrible movie, don't watch it). The character had just learned that her boyfriend had been cheating on her for about a year. This line stuck out in my mind. It's so true for everything in life.

There's always a moment where we look temptation in the face and say, "I'm going to give in to you or I'm going to be strong." Do we say, "I can't resist this. I have to give in. I'm too weak to do the right thing." or do we say, "God, give me the strength to resist this. God see me through,"

There's always a moment....